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I've got some other things to think about. The network brass is pushing us to do an eval on Christina and I'm not sure if she's quite ready to move up.I want to give her the chance, but I'm just not sure she's ready."Of course, it would be the station manager, Nick Carnos, who made that decision, but we'd worked together a long time and he trusted my judgment of on-air talent. If we pushed her up and she flamed out, it would reflect badly on Nick and myself, and we both hoped for a future beyond Jacksonville. However, if I didn't push her, I knew it would break her heart. She really was a nice girl and not the typical Diva you'd expect from a woman who looked the way she did."Please, please, please, don't push to kick her upstairs. God knows how many male hearts would be broken around here. I know my sex life with Carol would suffer. Half the time I'm inside Carole, I'm fantasizing about Christina. Don't, for God's sake, say anything to Rox about that. Women talk and Carol would. He had that other man with him. He would be running to protect him as well. That was why he hadn't come forward to her, or sent a message that he was well and alive.It must have been a matter of secrecy. How tired she had grown of all these dark affairs, so many lies heaped upon lies. The lies they had sworn to break and burn away, those very lies were probably what kept them alive even now. What irony, to have had your life built around what you despised most.It was the only way, they had kept telling to themselves. The only way they could change things once and for all, the only way they could spread the truth and uncover the deceit that had blinded them all. And that was the way he was gone now, perhaps forever.The dark thought contorted her face into a mixture of anger, pain, and weeping sorrow. She held her head in her palms, sobbing silently. She was constantly going through the same phases: Sorrow and then anger; then a faint sliver of hope would dawn upon her and recollect.
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